Deceiving Ourselves to Death

Regardless of when, where does this all end?

Living with an autoimmune disease both outside and within.

Voices tell me to pick up the pen.

“Don’t listen to them,” warns the opposing side.

There’s so many reasons to keep it inside.

Fears plead with me to hide.

Besides, what’s the point in speaking up anyways?

It’s not like anyone’s really listening.

We’ve even stopped pretending.

Isolated islands of insulated pain;

We’d rather bemoan our tragedies than recognize our pain.

What a shame—Though I understand it in the same vein.

So hurt from being misunderstood that you forget about the possibility of good.

Anchored down by all the ‘shoulds’ governing daily life.

What’s the point if there’s a never-ending price?

I suppose the appreciation of those things that constitute what is nice.

I suppose that’s right.

An unfamiliar phrase in a dizzyingly lost age,

Dysregulated by years of suppressed rage,

Manifesting in eruptions in underground caves.

What’s the saying about not making too many waves?

Then again, I guess there’s also the one saying not to sink but to swim;

And another suggesting to let things go in order to go with the flow.

But, I don’t know.

It seems suspicious that others keep saying such things to the point of becoming ingrained.

It’s almost as if there exists a concerted effort to distort my mind.

Serving to keep me distracted while I waste away time.

I think that must be right.

My internal fright transformed into a feeling of might,

Enticing an inner will to fight and disregard with being polite.

Now, this conclusion excites;

Therefore, it must be right.

Ascending the Depths

Everyday change creates a seductive argument urging my analytical brain to review the evidence yet again.
Could it be so simple?
Break down the principle.
Trace the threads that interweave reality.
Do the same patterns that govern the stars orient the psyche?

The lines of this poem were used to create the above image using NightCafe Creator, an AI art generator. You can view more of my collection here.

A Reflection from Within

Night falls, winter crawls, and summers to remember.
When forced to reflect and recall, we decide to deny it all.
Seeking inner recesses from the worries outside.
Where do we go to hide when there is also division inside?

The lines of this poem were used to create the above image using NightCafe Creator, an AI art generator. You can view more of my collection here.

Now What?

And who can argue for the living when confronted with the grave need to litigate for the dead?

Where do we go from here as we look off the face of this ledge?

Walk away, shake our head, go to bed and blame the issues on what’s wrong in other peoples’ heads.

What good does this do for the land of the living? Where are the debates of the corporeal? And why is it that those with whom we disagree somehow reside in a lesser reality?

Why bother to debate about the unborn or where we go when we die when the land of the living has become but a standstill, where even reason has found its capacity to cry?

“Oh, let’s have a debate,” they’ll say, but it disintegrates the moment of invoking things of the transcendent. We muddy our own waters with our dual-mindedness of both wanting to be right and to prove others wrong – yet, we like to nod our heads and go along with all those with charisma who play the song: it’s not us who are lost but them. Thus, it’s not me who is lost but him. Thus, the problems that exist are among those things outside of myself.

How dangerous it is to live in the fantastical lands such as these, where behind every door there must be some new mystery? The search is never over; the investigation never done, and the anticipation of the revelatory moment somehow still yet to be won…

But, alas, as to be expected with such things—we mustn’t concern ourselves with these things—rather, look another way to find a friend, and together we’ll find our fellowship in scapegoating a common foe.

We’ll vent and fume before sighing and saying, “What is life but full of woes?”

Oh, how we sow and sow—sometimes even forgetting to reap…even secretly, restraining ourselves from making a peep about the disharmony of the cycle. Why have we become so maniacal? Because of our love to sow and bask in the flow of more and more – after all, what is all of our work for?

This question takes a dark turn when the sowing has been overdone. There’s no land left to till, and no straw to continue to feed the spinning wheel—what is one to do when idleness creeps into one’s hands? Exercise patience, sort the harvest, and pursue leisure as a source of gain? A laughable notion, as absurd as turning water into rain, fears into pain, and grain into gold…but, then again, we are all getting old; it’s possible the same rules no longer hold…to venture closer to the edge and peer a bit further or to stay and stand firm in the trust bestowed from the ground beneath our feet—what if your feet begin to sink?
Would you fight and climb or say everything’s all fine; cry out to the world, “are we all losing our minds?” Then turn back around and continue with the dinner table discourse.

A Decisive Moment in Time

Where are the heroes of old?
Are we still under the spell from adopting the lies we were sold?
At what point do we bend at the knees and fold?
Will healing come through being told that we were right;
or is there still a need to fight, wielding our words as knives used to split the wheat from the chaff?
How much longer must we wear this mask of pretense and deny the realities of tragedies, sorrows, hardships, and the sea of disbelief that dwell within?
When will it be the time to adopt the elements that comprise the realm of real and acknowledge and allow ourselves to truly feel?
Do we still have time to deny what’s real in exchange for the comfort derived from sharing in our collective fantasies?
At what point will the wellspring within burst forth demanding our attention and requiring the cohesive and full functioning of all our specific capacities?

Awaiting Discovery Within

Make a mistake.
Go outside with your rake,
Take take take;
It’s time again to placate

Listen to the breeze and let yourself believe that the rustling leaves whisper to you. Allow yourself this one break.

Reason says otherwise, and I surmise that it’s choices which have me temporarily paralyzed. Forget to realize that the leaves aren’t alive?

Atop the fragments float, tethered to nothing – we drift further apart. Do you remember the start? Remember thinking I was so smart? All that’s left now are frozen embers some might call art.

Where does it all go And who really knows? Do the islands that time split apart ever mend back into a continent again?

If the answer is no, would it not be better to pretend?

Defend against the horizon for it brings darkness and takes away our days; Pretend with the sunrise that our spirits will be raised.

Deafen oneself from the beating drum from the ceaseless march of time. Better to say that we are fine than to waste anyone else’s time.

Striving to Ascend

Upwards we strive, sweeping blunders aside.

Inside hosts the rings that demarcate time.

Nothing but bands of lines.

Roots cling to the ground.

Anchoring the emerging sprouts until they can finally stand.

The moving winds serve a disruptor to nature’s plan.

Aspiring for ascension to the sky sustains the plant’s continual drive to climb.

Embracing an Escape?

To forget and become blind, becoming lost in the minutiae of time.

Let us look back, once more, and rewind – but what for?

What is it we hope to find this time, a transformational revelation?

An insight that transcends the temporal and guides, like the North Star, but in the realm of the eternal – were ever such a flash of clarity to strike across our soul, would the onus not still be on us to transform our lives?

Does the guiding direction of a compass eliminate the arduousness of the journey?

Is it not still our bones, muscles, sinews, and resolve that must work in coordination with principles above to propel us toward its designated destination?