A Descent From Normalcy

When I looked up, I saw the sky – And, the sky was falling. Glowing gold shards fell to the ground upon which I stood. What was left was both a hole and extensive fragmentation throughout the entirety of the night’s sky. It was as if the entire sky was a shell that had started to crack – and I had witnessed the first complete breakthrough. The sky was revealed to me as nothing more than a sheet of glass expanding across the horizon.

My state of disbelief only intensified on from this point. The spectacle taking place in front of my eyes had left me blissfully unaware of what lie beneath my averted gaze. For, when I looked down, I saw the tops of trees spanning the breadth of an entire forest. I felt as if I might fall. And then, I did.

As I fell, I gazed back towards the sky, which had started this whole strange journey, and I watched as more and more pieces fell. It was as if an egg was hatching from the outside in; the darkness of the egg’s interior was being consumed by the intense, fiery brightness of the light piercing through the shell’s outer walls. I remarked at how the integrity of the entire shell was compromised the moment the first flake fell. It was not the cracking of the shell that ultimately was causing it to crumble, for something can crack and remain intact; no, it was the moment the fragmented parts began to fall. In that instant, the shell was no longer a shell; its definition had fled the moment its form had. It had descended into something shapeless something decaying and falling into ruin and disarray.

For me, I could see its future. The trajectory of its fate was certain. The cascade of events which had been triggered allowed no prospects of the egg returning to its original state. Though it hadn’t happened yet, I could see it would happen by the signs of its movement.

I, on the other hand, was far less certain of my own future. I knew not why I fell, nor to where I was falling. It was a moment of relinquish, during which the two opposing sides of myself called for a ceasefire. My brain had agreed to quit sounding the danger alarm, because my mind’s reason had deemed the danger of the situation as insurmountable. As a result of surrendering to my fate, whatever it may be, I relaxed into warm, constant, supporting embrace of peace. My eyes closed, my lungs exhaled as if my soul was leaving along with my breath, and then, my entire body let go. My mind, my body, my very essence had yielded to my seemingly timeless descent. Then, out of the stillness and serenity of submission, came contact.

 

 

 

 

A Familiar Discomfort

The mind can be a prison of sorts. In some way, we are trapped. Our flesh contains us: our bones the bars, and our body the cell.

What do we do with the time that we are given? After all, how could you explain life without time? How can we desire to halt motion, for without motion, we are dead – existence is rooted in time.

And the importance of roots can never be stressed enough. We want good roots. Because we know we will need them to be sturdy in nature’s harsh winds.

We never face losing it all more than when we doubt the integrity of your roots. When you doubt the very thing that is holding you up, you begin to fear, with a swelling intensity, that you might fall. It’s impossible to be certain of anything without the confirmation of the persistent, function, soothing sound of your roots.

What sound you ask. . . the sound of life: the ebb and the flow; the expansion and the contraction; the on and the off.

Yet, more often than not we spend our lives flickering, never holding a light. Flickering light is better than no light at all, but it is far inferior than true light. For flickering lights still allow the way for darkness, but, when something is truly seen, one cannot fear.

When light shows somethings’s true colors, it cannot be unseen. For there are those that experience color and then there are those that experience art.

God and Order

Our world is ruled by disorder. Ask a physicist why time is perceived as flowing in a direction and they will say it is due to entropy, which merely is a scientific way of saying disorder.

The universe is increasing in disorder (entropy), thus time appears to flow in the direction of past to future. In the past, there was less entropy and, therefore, more order. In the future, there is an increasing amount of disorder.

Take this from a cognitive perspective for a second. Your past is comprised of events that happened. They feel more concrete and solidly grounded in existence, because we know (or believe ourselves to know) that these certain events did in fact occur. Now, go the opposite direction and think towards the future. The future is ruled by probability. Thinking of the future from the present is like running probability simulations of what is likely, or possible, to happen in our lives.

The real question becomes: Why was there order to begin with?

In the opening lines of the Bible, it gives rise to the notion that, before there was light, there was a great void, formless and dark. In this primordial state, we find a state of complete individualization — even all the particles are in isolation, as to have yet formed a connective bond to one another.

It is this initial bond that fulfills the verse of “‘Let there be Light'” (Genesis 1:3).

A non-Biblical analogy is the science of your brain. Think to that first neural connection forming in a burst of energy. This initial burst of life cannot be understood, nor meaningfully explained. And, even if we somehow could meaningfully describe life itself, it would encapsulate all the words that have ever used to describe life. It would be all that ever was. Regardless of the mechanism of how, the result was that your brain formed neural connections and has continued to do so throughout your life forming neural networks.

 

Questioning The Known

What is the direct outcome of a war? After the smoke has cleared and the seize is over. The goal has turned from destroying to reconstructing, with what are you left? A conqueror and a conquered. One is clearly superior to the other in some form or another, either by better skill, training, numbers, resources, or natural favor, there was a discrepancy in a quantifiable fashion in order to determine one loser and one winner. There was something that broke the stalemate in which a victor protruded.

All of worldly existence is held together because opposing forces in equilibrium. But what holds these forces in equilibrium? Tension. When in equilibrium, the tension is equal; but, when it is broken, such as the case of the aftermath of a war, the tension is unequally distributed.

But, where is the tension being skewed; where is this new unequal tension being held? In the minds, hearts and spirts of humans. Therefore, it was being held in psychic space. Psychic space is different than physical space in that it does not, to the best of our knowledge, consist of physical space; that is, in the means that it can be measured and said to be in ‘this’ place or ‘that’ one. Physical space is left to the quantifiable, the observable, and the seen (aside from dark energy, and dark matter that are, at the least, accounted for through negative derivation).

Many pathologies arise from the fact that due to the unobservable nature of the psychic realm it is somehow less real than the physical. This distortion is being further augmented as we continue to place more faith in material science (including neuroscience) because it implicitly is discrediting the invisible, and intangible and somehow imaginative. However, the truth is the psychic frontier is one we know quite little about and are therefore afraid to be faced by our own intellectual inferiority in the face of a virtually untapped knowledge domain.

Time & You

Are you master of these years?

And I been thinking what’s like when you’ve been treated wrong.

It’s never seems to grow; is everything as you want of me?

If I could blame you, and if I could choose:

I would lay down beside you, and you’d my muse.

And if I could be anything,

I would be staring back at you my darling.

Help me to realize what it must be like.

Break me and realize, what I have left inside.

The Paradox of Existence

We are always being torn in two. We live within the tension between opposing forces. Life involves both the processes of living and dying happening simultaneously: Some live to die, and others die to live.

We live a paradox and we are one. We both desperately want to be free but are paralyzed by the true totality of what freedom means. We want to find love but find it terrifying once we are actually truly in love with someone whose well-being directly dictates our own. We seek truth at all cost, except when the truth is far more unbearable than the majesty of our fantasies.

We live this way because existence comes with the knowledge of knowing that we may someday not exist (or, at least, exist in an entirely different form). In the forefront of our minds, we live; but, in the background, we know that we may cease to exist someday. To some this may scare, while others don’t care; but, nonetheless, the thought is ever presently there.