Valentine’s Day Free Download

Four years ago, I published my first book A Two Sided Truth. It was during a time in my life surrounded by uncertainty and chaos. The compilation of this book involved gathering and editing poems, prose, and short-stories that I had written in college, and the process (though imperfect) provided me with a sense of completion.

This process of creative expression helped me to make meaning in an extremely difficult time in my life. Producing something containing your own words and effort is inherently vulnerable, but it helped me to cope with adversity; therefore, if it could be of help a single person like it helped me, it would be entirely worth embracing my own vulnerability and post this announcement:

From February 14th to February 17th, the kindle version of A Two Sided Truth: An Anthology of a Human Experience will be free to download on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2wgHKfJ

Reflecting Change

Discover what was written before the doors close once more.
Let all those frozen memories and hollow doubts sink and fall to the floor.
For what once lived is but a vapor.
A blip in the eye of our creator.

So, do not fear those shadows that try to speak your name.
Do not entertain them by playing in their games.
Rather, carry on as ceaseless ships,
Trekking lines in the sands of your wondrous trip.

Tastes of Grace

Rejoice in thy name and in the pleasure;
Deny thyself no more from the grandeur.
Allow yourself to play peacefully in this manger.

Drink from the spring within.
Reflect and let your soul sing.
Overflow with joy from grace;
But, what must I do to cope with this place?
Should I surrender myself and seek thy face;
Shall I quickly forget and walk at my own pace?

I am nothing without the gifts you bestow.
For what you are I cannot know;
And what you give is always right,
Even if it looks differently from my sight.
Being suspect to the illusions,
I humble myself to your conclusion.

Free Download: A Two Sided Truth

Four years ago, I published my first book A Two Sided Truth. The goal I had when constructing this book was self-healing. There had been a series of difficulties plaguing my life, as well as I was graduating college with no clear path for the future; so, I compiled together my poems, prose, and short stories that I had written throughout my college years and bound them together in one book.

It was a way to feel a sense of accomplishment and reflect on the creative works that I had conjured up. Though I am not a graphic designer by any stretch of the imagination, I also came up with the books cover art, which was an augmented picture of the river that ran behind the house I grew up in.

For all these reasons, the self-publication of A Two Sided Truth: An Anthology of a Human Experience is emotionally charged with both positive and negative emotions. However, I have decided to embrace my book, imperfections and all.

I hope that the words can comfort others in their walk through life. The Kindle version will be free to download on Amazon from July 11th to July 15th: https://amzn.to/2S6uNvI

Safer Places

Let no more demons in.
My inner gates lay overrun.
By the voices of my past.
Shadows stand in holy courts,
Leading my fellow thoughts toward deception.
As I stand in the middle now,
I see nothing but shallow ground.
Make me speak but a single sound.
May light break through to me again.
Touch me and help me to rise, my friend.
Dare you try and hide, once more.
Refrain from causing another uproar.
Grab those wings where angels play;
Let them seek me every day.
It is in this place I want to stay.

The Paradox of Existence

We are always being torn in two. We live within the tension between opposing forces. Life involves both the processes of living and dying happening simultaneously: Some live to die, and others die to live.

We live a paradox and we are one. We both desperately want to be free but are paralyzed by the true totality of what freedom means. We want to find love but find it terrifying once we are actually truly in love with someone whose well-being directly dictates our own. We seek truth at all cost, except when the truth is far more unbearable than the majesty of our fantasies.

We live this way because existence comes with the knowledge of knowing that we may someday not exist (or, at least, exist in an entirely different form). In the forefront of our minds, we live; but, in the background, we know that we may cease to exist someday. To some this may scare, while others don’t care; but, nonetheless, the thought is ever presently there.

He & She

He sat. He sat and he thought about the issues that concerned him – the issues he cared deeply about. And, for him, he could not see past her. The blinding luminosity that was her in his mind.

The moments and events of his life seemed to circle around her at the center – timeless and still. It was not just around her though, but his love for her and, moreover, his love of Love.

His love that provided him with the knowledge that true security, safety, warmth and comfort does exist. He craved this. He craved these feelings, always. He craved this love because he craved immortality. He craved love because he knew that it could transcend the grave – he knew this because he had witnessed it himself.

He had died many times during his single lifetime. When cycles of self were altered or fundamentally destroyed, he began to drift – floating from thought to thought never being anchored down. What made him, him was called into question – even his very existence…especially his very existence.

This was all true before he met her. Once she entered his life, there was something sturdy to hold on to – a point to be grounded and attached. This was a solid footing that only grew in strength, power and depth by the passing of each day.

The roots of love never stop. They are never finished in their expansion; for love does not retreat. Love does not diminish – love expands ceaselessly.

Unrequited Love

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“And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.” – 1 John 3:22

It seems too good to be true to be able to ask for whatever you desire (that which is in accordance with God’s will) and receive it. The mind can run wild with the boundless possibilities and potentials that wait for us through prayer.

But, though we want to receive gifts, don’t we also feel a pressure to reciprocate when a gift is given to us? I think this can be especially understood with the Christmas season upon us. Receiving gifts is wonderful, but is a guilt associated with receiving. What if I can’t reciprocate appropriately and return the relationship back to balance through an appropriate response?

This may have merit in human exchanges, but it is impossible when regarding our relationship to God. From the beginning, the relationship was unbalanced: “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). There is nothing we can give back to God to ever even the score – but, this is not an issue; it is the shining example of God’s beautiful and boundless love and grace!

“In God there is no hunger that needs to be filled, only plenteousness that desires to give.” – C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves.

God wants to give to his children. He wants to love us, not just a little bit, but love in abundance because abundance of love is all that God knows. The gifts he graces us with our beyond even our wildest imaginings. As Matthew 7:9-11 states, “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

Therefore, our jobs become to accept God’s grace, love and abundance and accept that we deserve none of it, but He, nevertheless, showers us with it. Then, we can begin to walk in perfect love without fear, guilt or doubt and share this pure love with one another. But, “let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action” (1 John 3:18).