The Paradox of Existence

We are always being torn in two. We live within the tension between opposing forces. Life involves both the processes of living and dying happening simultaneously: Some live to die, and others die to live.

We live a paradox and we are one. We both desperately want to be free but are paralyzed by the true totality of what freedom means. We want to find love but find it terrifying once we are actually truly in love with someone whose well-being directly dictates our own. We seek truth at all cost, except when the truth is far more unbearable than the majesty of our fantasies.

We live this way because existence comes with the knowledge of knowing that we may someday not exist (or, at least, exist in an entirely different form). In the forefront of our minds, we live; but, in the background, we know that we may cease to exist someday. To some this may scare, while others don’t care; but, nonetheless, the thought is ever presently there.

He & She

He sat. He sat and he thought about the issues that concerned him – the issues he cared deeply about. And, for him, he could not see past her. The blinding luminosity that was her in his mind.

The moments and events of his life seemed to circle around her at the center – timeless and still. It was not just around her though, but his love for her and, moreover, his love of Love.

His love that provided him with the knowledge that true security, safety, warmth and comfort does exist. He craved this. He craved these feelings, always. He craved this love because he craved immortality. He craved love because he knew that it could transcend the grave – he knew this because he had witnessed it himself.

He had died many times during his single lifetime. When cycles of self were altered or fundamentally destroyed, he began to drift – floating from thought to thought never being anchored down. What made him, him was called into question – even his very existence…especially his very existence.

This was all true before he met her. Once she entered his life, there was something sturdy to hold on to – a point to be grounded and attached. This was a solid footing that only grew in strength, power and depth by the passing of each day.

The roots of love never stop. They are never finished in their expansion; for love does not retreat. Love does not diminish – love expands ceaselessly.

Unrequited Love


“And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.” – 1 John 3:22

It seems too good to be true to be able to ask for whatever you desire (that which is in accordance with God’s will) and receive it. The mind can run wild with the boundless possibilities and potentials that wait for us through prayer.

But, though we want to receive gifts, don’t we also feel a pressure to reciprocate when a gift is given to us? I think this can be especially understood with the Christmas season upon us. Receiving gifts is wonderful, but is a guilt associated with receiving. What if I can’t reciprocate appropriately and return the relationship back to balance through an appropriate response?

This may have merit in human exchanges, but it is impossible when regarding our relationship to God. From the beginning, the relationship was unbalanced: “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). There is nothing we can give back to God to ever even the score – but, this is not an issue; it is the shining example of God’s beautiful and boundless love and grace!

“In God there is no hunger that needs to be filled, only plenteousness that desires to give.” – C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves.

God wants to give to his children. He wants to love us, not just a little bit, but love in abundance because abundance of love is all that God knows. The gifts he graces us with our beyond even our wildest imaginings. As Matthew 7:9-11 states, “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

Therefore, our jobs become to accept God’s grace, love and abundance and accept that we deserve none of it, but He, nevertheless, showers us with it. Then, we can begin to walk in perfect love without fear, guilt or doubt and share this pure love with one another. But, “let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action” (1 John 3:18).

The Rose Warrior: The Aurora Plane

He felt himself fly from his body, which was accompanied by a loud popping sound. This is what is known as the plunge. He looked back and saw his body still there on his bed. It felt as if he was gazing upon a longtime friend.

He then realized his current self was something like a hologram. It had the basic outline of his body, but was almost entirely transparent and malleable ( He didn’t know it at the time, but later we discovered the substance of the body was vaporized liquid energy). Imagine the nervous system and the light circulating through that system in the form of electricity. This is similar to the form he took and the form he could see in others.

Except, there were no constraints to where he could go, so he began to wander. Soon, he discovered great the circulating beams of light I previously mentioned. They were like bright rivers of energy circulating under the human body.

At first, he thought them to just be light, but quickly realized he was seeing the behind the scenes of a person. He flew closer and realized they were being emitted off of real life people. He could see them through to the inside and also their fully formed exterior. He saw their skin and the brilliant light of the energy that surged through their body as electricity. He continued to move around and discovered the most concentrated currents of energy from those from people on the battlefield. Closely examining the circulating rivers of light energy, he stumbled upon something intriguing: the currents of energy all circulated to the brain where there was aura shrouding their head, similar to that of a halo, but more of a gaseous cloud full of vibrant colors.

On close examination, he discovered this was the aura of thought and each flash of color was some different concept racing in their head. The most significant discovery was from the thought aura. He noticed there was a division; there was a plane that was perfectly horizontal dividing the cloud into two distinct areas (the conscious and unconscious). Each area portrayed colors in a different manner than the other. For example, the top half was constantly firing off colors and fluctuating from thought to thought, but the bottom layer remained much more stagnant. It would usually hold a single color, representing a single thought or emotion, and then gradually shift to another. However, sometimes there were two or even three colors represented in this lower half, but they never acted erratically, they slowly faded in and slowly faded out of existence. At first, he was baffled about this duality and the overall nature of the colors and more generally, the aurora plane as a whole, but his unwavering faith had paid off and he had unlocked the secret behind the violet crystal. And through it, he had discovered an unseen world that is happening behind the scenes of the everyday world. He was ecstatic and only wanted to learn more but before he could do so, he went to go check on his physical self, which was still lying in bed.

He noticed his physical body looked as if it would soon wake up, but he did not know how to go back into his physical self. Finally, he thought back on how he came to be in his current state and realized if the stone had the power to pluck him from his body, then it must have the power to embody him once more. But, alas, the stone was still being clasped by his physical self. He didn’t know what to do, but he did the only thing he could think to do…think. He thought of the stone. He focused on the stone and the stone began to resonant with this energy that he was transmitting. Eventually, the energy from his intentionality was enough to capture himself  back into his physical self and he woke up with his mouth agape, mystified from what he had experienced.

The Rose Warrior: The Prince

The prince, Ferna, sent his explorers and warriors to explore the planet. That is when they discovered us and the continent Mu for the first time; it was under the rule of Ferna. Merely years later is when the inevitable war would begin.

All while the world’s war raged on, the commander Ferna stayed at home, usually in isolation, playing with his father’s crystal. He was trying anything and everything to find that the power was real, that at least some part of his father’s legacy was true, and that it wasn’t all just a hoax that he had naively believed.

The skin on his hands were supposedly extremely calloused from constantly caressing the rough edges of the stone. Such hands were usually only found on laborers, never a king. But his obsession with uncovering the stone’s truth had made him a laborer, a slave to the stone.

He tried a myriad of words and phrases desperately hoping to unlock the rocks hidden potential. But for years it remained solely a beautiful rock and for years men and women died fighting on his behalf in a war that he paid no attention to.

They were slain trying to conquer my people and force-feed their ideology, but we would not be quieted and we constantly searched for new ways of war but it was ultimately Ferna to would meek this revolutionary discovery, not my people.

King Ferna was never seen without the crystal in his possession. The only time he and the stone were apart was when he would retire for slumber in the king’s chambers. He would place the stone in vault under his bed so that no one could steal it without waking him up.

However, on one night his routine of taking the stone from his neck and placing it in the vault was interrupted. He had received news that his son, the heir to his thrown, had been killed that day in battle. He was beside himself. He felt like he was a failure at being a father. But he refused to be a failure as a king as well. He laid his head on his pillow that night the same as he did every other night, but this time the stone still lay draped around his neck.

This is when the Aurora plane was discovered.

The Rose Warrior: A Brief History of Time

It all started with light, or should I say a debate regarding light, darkness and the origins of the universe. War is a result of differences and perpetual war is result of fundamental differences.

They seek to destroy anything that is not them and take from us, while we seek to create and bestow knowledge onto them.

But it is our knowledge that they hate and abhor and could not disagree with any more than they already do. It is at the core of their being.

You see, the Foreigners view darkness as the ultimate canvas from which everything physical manifested; consequently, they live solely by moonlight and rejoice when there is a new moon and are repulsed by the full one.

They believe in order to create, there must first exist darkness. This is in direct opposition to the ideology of us, the Natives: we believe it was light that came first and darkness exists solely as light’s absence; therefore, all creation is a product of light and darkness is a pesky annoyance…so, we live during the daytime. We adore the Sun and the Moon and despise absolute darkness.
Of course, these differences would not have been a problem if they hadn’t found us.  We live on the continent of Mu, while they continent Taya. We each lived in isolation of one another for centuries (or some vast amount of time that truly cannot be quantified or conceptualized).

Truthfully, what does stand out is the first contact. This event marked the divide and split our concept of time in two: the before contact (BC) and the after contract (AC).

Because of how strong our differences were, it did not take long before war was brought to our society and perpetual war is where we remained; that is, until the new era which I currently reside: the age of Rose.