Valentine’s Day Free Download

Four years ago, I published my first book A Two Sided Truth. It was during a time in my life surrounded by uncertainty and chaos. The compilation of this book involved gathering and editing poems, prose, and short-stories that I had written in college, and the process (though imperfect) provided me with a sense of completion.

This process of creative expression helped me to make meaning in an extremely difficult time in my life. Producing something containing your own words and effort is inherently vulnerable, but it helped me to cope with adversity; therefore, if it could be of help a single person like it helped me, it would be entirely worth embracing my own vulnerability and post this announcement:

From February 14th to February 17th, the kindle version of A Two Sided Truth: An Anthology of a Human Experience will be free to download on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2wgHKfJ

Doing & Becoming

Living in a constant cycle,
Moving in this perpetual flow.
Continual searching for how to know:
What is truth?
Where to go?
How is it that I grow?
Inundated by information
And cognitive processes of the mind,
I wonder if what I seek to find
Will not be determined through methods of this kind.
Instead, it seems that I am stuck in a state of motion;
Therefore, my devotion to feel comfort in a fixed notion
Is as futile as attempting to cease the tides of the ocean.
Rather, is the solution to quiet my own mind,
And embrace the natural anxiety produced by time?
Putting a halt to my persistent pursuing
And choosing to reexamine what it is that I am proving.
Nonetheless, it would appear that I am still doing,
Yet this reviewing is indeed quite amusing.

The Ebb and Flow of Letting Go

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It’s amazing what can happen once we stop believing in lies:
“I’m not good enough; I’ll fail –
Isolate myself away so that then everything will be okay, today.”
But this isn’t living, nor is it what we are called to.

Yes, it’s true that an unexamined life is not worth living;
Yet, it’s equally important to realize that an overanalyzed one is worthless, too.
It’s not easy to set aside these doubts,
Nor is it to overcome these apathetic bouts.

Nevertheless, it’s of paramount importance to keep on striving.
Neither for the sake of merely surviving or the continual ideal that we must be thriving.
What matters most is that we keep on trying.
Stop the fictional finality of moving goalposts to an unactualized “someday”
When everything is once and for all going to be okay.

Instead, embrace how you truly feel.
Validate that these emotions are indeed real.
Life is like a Ferris wheel, with some highs and some lows.
While this pattern is predictable,
The pace at which the cycle goes is a constant unknown.
Accepting this brings us to a choice:
Do we moan and groan seeking safety in being alone?
Or, do we change the tone, accept and atone, viewing each moment as a stepping stone?

Smoke & Mirrors

Let the smoke fill the air.
Carry forth the pretense that we do not care.
Refrain from addressing the tensions inside.
In masked desperation – attempting to maintain our pride –
The world confronts us now with nothing to hide.
Our eyes look to the sky for a guide.

“Oh Lord, give us a sign!”
Is it finally the time –
Or, is this just another war over some pipeline?
Bombarded by constant headlines of calamity,
My only taste of serenity,
now comes from the breath I breathe.
After all, I am free;
And you, my God, have always been my destiny,
Regardless of the haze I see.

 

A Self in Society

Conditioned to be polite,
We converse wearing our social decorum.
But, is this for us or for them?
Moreover, since when did disagreement become synonymous with intolerance –
If we all agree, will we still be free?
To some degree, it would appear that the fervent desire to unify as one
Is causing our nation to become undone.

With that said, there are issues on which we must agree:
Some form of common sense logic must be present as foundation to stand upon.
This does not dictate any issue,
Rather it provides us with a necessary tool to engage in discourse.
Embarking on these sorts of endeavors without common ground
is predestined to forever circle round and round.
Therefore, remember that it is okay to have some remorse;
It’s okay to change your mind in light of new evidence.
This is not something to feel ashamed of though –
It is, however, a test of letting go,
The pieces of one’s ego necessary for growth.
Through taking this oath,
One may become flexible enough to tolerate viewpoints of both.
This requires great vulnerability, and without this there is no true strength –
Only an inflated self-esteem kept afloat by the desperation of others
Who, too, refuse to change and prefer to remain the same.

This is the what it means to be enslaved to oneself, ensnared by pride.
Terrified to be denied, one chooses to continually lie.
For the sake of pride, one cannot hide;
Therefore, the fear of mortification leads to emotional amplification.
Allied together under a noble cause: Defend this nation, at all costs.
However, the lack of insight veils the perception of one’s self,
Instead, projecting outward blaming others for their rage.
Not knowing that it is a manifestation of residing in a cage of their own making.

Carefree Incongruity

A constant pretense always engaged in a reality that’s counterfeit
And filled with frivolities that disguise themselves as serious beliefs.
Mesmerize me, and I’ll ignore the bleed.
Let those that are chosen to lead continue to be the ones to fill our needs.
Never question whether you’re free, for you’ve been given more than you see.
Shall this fallacy of relative privation squash all doubts and questions regarding my salvation?
Is it worth just accepting what the majority tells you is the correct story;
Or, is there an essence inside that refuses to hide in the face of intolerance?

Working for Rest

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Free are those that find rest in glee.
Motion is the way to be.
Deriving comfort from continual busyness,
Perpetuating a cycle of familiar dizziness.
Resist the urge to sit still
Out of fear of missing our fill.
Leaving a craving for our next meal.
Though the motion of this cyclical wheel,
Fuels our striving toward a paradoxical ideal:
A simple wish to finally feel still.

Musings of Apathy

When we breathe, do we ponder the air?
Do we live our lives guided by what we deem to be fair?
Or, are we simply bound by what we determine is worth our care?

Keep the mind in restless motion
And all the world’s constant commotion
Will fail to evoke a single authentic emotion.

Desensitize pain
And pleasure will also wane.
Focus attention on what will be gained
And refrain from reflecting on what still remains.

God and Order

Our world is ruled by disorder. Ask a physicist why time is perceived as flowing in a direction and they will say it is due to entropy, which merely is a scientific way of saying disorder.

The universe is increasing in disorder (entropy), thus time appears to flow in the direction of past to future. In the past, there was less entropy and, therefore, more order. In the future, there is an increasing amount of disorder.

Take this from a cognitive perspective for a second. Your past is comprised of events that happened. They feel more concrete and solidly grounded in existence, because we know (or believe ourselves to know) that these certain events did in fact occur. Now, go the opposite direction and think towards the future. The future is ruled by probability. Thinking of the future from the present is like running probability simulations of what is likely, or possible, to happen in our lives.

The real question becomes: Why was there order to begin with?

In the opening lines of the Bible, it gives rise to the notion that, before there was light, there was a great void, formless and dark. In this primordial state, we find a state of complete individualization — even all the particles are in isolation, as to have yet formed a connective bond to one another.

It is this initial bond that fulfills the verse of “‘Let there be Light'” (Genesis 1:3).

A non-Biblical analogy is the science of your brain. Think to that first neural connection forming in a burst of energy. This initial burst of life cannot be understood, nor meaningfully explained. And, even if we somehow could meaningfully describe life itself, it would encapsulate all the words that have ever used to describe life. It would be all that ever was. Regardless of the mechanism of how, the result was that your brain formed neural connections and has continued to do so throughout your life forming neural networks.