If we place our ideology above our humanity, letting our ego trump our heart, with what are we left? For even if we gained it all, it is worth nothing without love.
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” – Proverbs 23:7
Lord, please forgive my heart for ingesting so much evil under the claim of righteous indignation. It is not my call to rid this world of evil, but to have faith and to grow in my relationship with You. I have drifted from the way of You by being consumed in the politics of this world and letting my heart overflow with arguments, defenses, justifications and distractions. All of which serve to distract me from consuming myself with You — in the form of Love, Beauty and Grace. Such words are only given meaning through the Word made flesh Christ Jesus.
Redirect my path and prune me of the compulsion to look at the entertainment, to be consumed by half-truths and meaningless distractions. Lord Almighty, shield me from the business and trivialities of this life. Grant me serenity through asylum in your garden. Let me visit the eternal springs and be overtaken by the ripples of calmness that resonate within my spirit. Instruct my hands to open up from their tense clasp onto reality and worldly knowledge and direct my gaze upon you and your fathomless nature.
You are the mystery which should consume me. Nothing of this world will last; so, too, will be the fate of me, if I let this world overtake me.
Guard my heart;
Guide my mind;
Gild my soul.
I was running into pure darkness – a palpable force, which resists against you. The darkness—an all encompassing pressure that is inescapable.
I awoke to a small room, but the dark gravity of my environment persisted. It’s presence emanated from the aberrant noises of passersby wandering the dimly lit city streets.
They were animals, ruled by base desires and blissfully ignorant of their true condition. And, like animals, they could turn at any moment. Suddenly, their unyielding blind passions and desires might be unleashed upon you; but, this usually required some sort of provocation. However, sometimes even small transgressions would be sufficient in triggering a hostile reaction. The only true requirement was the perception of a threat by the animal. When this occurred, the response was always defensive and hostile out of fear for self-preservation.
I vacillate between apathy and emotion like the seasons flux from winter to summer. When I feel, I feel. And, when I don’t, I don’t. Neither is truly painful or inherently distressing. The times of apathy simple give my emotions a context.
When you’re feeling apathetic, you see the world for what it truly is. You don’t sugar-coat the facts of the world to make existence easier. You see things from uncaring and impassive eyes that don’t even care enough to want to distort reality into your own liking. Apathy transcends like and dislike and leaves you in a place of isness. This is a place stripped away from labels and judgments of liking, loving, hating, wanting, craving none of these aspects play a role; their values are set at zero. Instead, you just observe the characteristics of whatever it is you are gazing upon or thinking about. You do so in a neutral manner because everything in life is devoid of feeling when truly consumed by apathy.
I do not know if I believe that apathy consumes you in the same way a fire would. It’s more that the apathy is always their and in the cold winter seasons of emotion numbness, it isn’t the apathy that takes over, but the disillusioned self and worldview that leaves.
Society filtered propaganda. I am being torn between polarities. Gravitating towards one end, intensifies the resistance of the opposing side; this forces my retreat toward moderation. Is it the voyage of a coward, or the journey of a hero? What is moderation when in terms of light and darkness, or good and evil? There is no place for these binary oppositions to have a place of refuge found in such a sanctuary as a place labeled “moderate.” Extremists take this maxim to the extreme and apply it in all circumstances. However, they do not know the maxim operates on an inverted principle.
I can think of all sorts of scenarios: good ones, bad ones, those that are different – but none of them have ever truly manifested. The imaginative plane never comes out exactly on the experiential plane. This discrepancy is what makes life interesting. No matter how well we can predict what will happen. The true depth of the actual sensory-perceived experience will never be the exact same as the mental construction.
We run these simulations all the time in our heads, playing out scenarios while implementing the most up to date knowledge and use of your current mental software to analyze and judge a scenario based on some specific criterion.
If religious laws and piety produce nothing more than judgement and elitism, then they are not from the spirit but rather the ego. They are societal parameters to regulate appropriate decorum determined by individuals crudely attempting to construct their ideal reality.
Aspects of the true spirit will produce fruit that manifests in forms of love, freedom and peace, not judgement, rigidity and angst. No man made laws, institutions or religious righteousness will bring you to God, but they certainly can distance you.
When you find your religious perspective is one from a high vantage, you should reevaluate what it is that you believe and what it is that you want from others. We are all equal in the eyes of God. We are all imperfect in our own ways, and to judge others for their specific imperfections, only deepens our own. And, deepening our own imperfections, deepens the chasm that divides us from God’s absolute perfection.
We should shift our eyes from societal things and the eqoic mind which feeds off of comparison and judgement, and instead turn inwards to gaze upon ourselves. Not from the point of view of judgement, but simply from the perspective of an impassive observer.
We should focus more on who we are and what we are becoming in relation to the absolute source that is God, and less about the faults of others in an attempt to falsely build ourselves up.