Turning Point

In times of turmoil,
You are there to help the toil.
For don’t let these opportunities spoil in fear that you won’t succeed here.
God has a plan for those that seek His face;
However this journey is set at His pace,
And you must learn to trust and have patience,
even in the darkness of uncertainty of this race.

Missing The Point

If religious laws and piety produce nothing more than judgement and elitism, then they are not from the spirit but rather the ego. They are societal parameters to regulate appropriate decorum determined by individuals crudely attempting to construct their ideal reality.

Aspects of the true spirit will produce fruit that manifests in forms of love, freedom and peace, not judgement, rigidity and angst. No man made laws, institutions or religious righteousness will bring you to God, but they certainly can distance you.

When you find your religious perspective is one from a high vantage, you should reevaluate what it is that you believe and what it is that you want from others. We are all equal in the eyes of God. We are all imperfect in our own ways, and to judge others for their specific imperfections, only deepens our own. And, deepening our own imperfections, deepens the chasm that divides us from God’s absolute perfection.

We should shift our eyes from societal things and the eqoic mind which feeds off of comparison and judgement, and instead turn inwards to gaze upon ourselves. Not from the point of view of judgement, but simply from the perspective of an impassive observer.

We should focus more on who we are and what we are becoming in relation to the absolute source that is God, and less about the faults of others in an attempt to falsely build ourselves up.

Leap of Faith

We separate ourselves from Christ by emphasizing his divinity and undermining his humanity. Instead of seeking to imitate him, we are actually avoiding him by alienating ourselves from him.

We choose this because it is easier than wrestling with the paradox that is Jesus: man and God, meek carpenter and savior of the world, blameless but convicted. We struggle with gray areas, and we are hardwired for dualistic – black and white – thinking.

We logic our way into believing in God instead of surrendering our way to having faith in God. The former is a test of memory, facts, evidence and proofs, while the latter is one of pure intuition – fear and trembling in the face of the reality of what existence is truly about.

 

Unrequited Love

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“And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.” – 1 John 3:22

It seems too good to be true to be able to ask for whatever you desire (that which is in accordance with God’s will) and receive it. The mind can run wild with the boundless possibilities and potentials that wait for us through prayer.

But, though we want to receive gifts, don’t we also feel a pressure to reciprocate when a gift is given to us? I think this can be especially understood with the Christmas season upon us. Receiving gifts is wonderful, but is a guilt associated with receiving. What if I can’t reciprocate appropriately and return the relationship back to balance through an appropriate response?

This may have merit in human exchanges, but it is impossible when regarding our relationship to God. From the beginning, the relationship was unbalanced: “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). There is nothing we can give back to God to ever even the score – but, this is not an issue; it is the shining example of God’s beautiful and boundless love and grace!

“In God there is no hunger that needs to be filled, only plenteousness that desires to give.” – C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves.

God wants to give to his children. He wants to love us, not just a little bit, but love in abundance because abundance of love is all that God knows. The gifts he graces us with our beyond even our wildest imaginings. As Matthew 7:9-11 states, “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

Therefore, our jobs become to accept God’s grace, love and abundance and accept that we deserve none of it, but He, nevertheless, showers us with it. Then, we can begin to walk in perfect love without fear, guilt or doubt and share this pure love with one another. But, “let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action” (1 John 3:18).

A Prayer of Strength

My heart it yearns,
My soul it aches.
I await the day,
When you reclaim this place.
Purify my perception,
For deception still lingers.
Eradicate my doubts,
So that my faith may be all.
Forgive the transgressions from the fall,
And guide me towards glory.
Allow my eyes to see
And my hears to ear.
For I feel the time is near.

Ubiquitous Comfort

I am never alone.
Your grace pours through me.
I swim in a sea of your love.
You are all around me,
Shrouded in mystery.
I seek to see through letting my heart lead.
It’s hard to believe,
But so is reality.
Through your Spirit,
There is tranquillity.
You have captured me,
Solely to set me free.
Questions arise
Only to saturate me in belief.
The depths of true love
Cause me to fly.
Revelations of the Light
Fix my eyes up high.

Without Fear

I am focused on you.

I think for what I want and it comes back to you.

You have rescued me

Brought me back from ignorance.

You have taken me away and bestowed me knowledge.

You have bestowed me knowledge in the form of love.

Now I can truly live.

Life beyond mere material existence,

For that is death.

Death is life without life;

And life is life without death.

For the living focused on death,

Are already dead;

But the living focused on life,

Are those that are truly alive.

Those that know true life will not taste death.

Those that know death will not be open to the taste of life.

Self-Reflections: Day 3

Today is a good day. The past couple of weeks have been good. It is a stark turn around from where I was before. I can’t be sure what the ultimate cause was, and it was likely multiple factors. I know for certain the discontinuation of  the horrid Zyprexa had an influence, as well as the addition of Lamictal which, as of right now, seems to be a step in the right direction.

Regardless of the cause, I am left feeling different. I can’t put my figure on it or boil it down into words, but I feel better. I feel a sense of faith and confidence in myself, even though my outside life really hasn’t changed. I still don’t know what I am going to do once I graduate college here in the next couple of months. I still am grinding through the daily struggles of my course work. I am still experiencing daily stresses and missing my girlfriend — but something is different.

I feel a sense of faith. A faith that you truly believe but cannot put into words, as opposed to my former faith which was all about logic and reason but left a gaping hole in my chest where my intuition was meant to be. I didn’t think I would, but I actually like this feeling better.

If asked about my belief, I really couldn’t describe it, but it is not for other people; it’s just for me. I truly believe in and trust in my views of life and the world and that is something that I have searched high and low for, for years.

I just never thought it would come in the form of nothingness, really. Nothingness in the sense that it is not words, or ideas, philosophies, or material things, it’s just a feeling. But it is also more than a feeling. It is a true and candid belief that the world as we know it is not what it seems and there is more beyond my perception. Whatever that more is I truly do not know, but I know it is out there and I yearn to get closer.