He gazed down at the broken and worn out suit. It reminded him of own fragility – his own mortality. That he, too, would one day be worn out and tattered. But, unlike the suit, would his essence carry on. Staring up at the stars above him, the vastness of the inky, black space captivated him – would he be a star or would he be the dark space between? Somehow, in that breathtaking moment, it didn’t matter.
The other reminiscence
Where are we going?
Does going imply directionality?
Can we be moving without going somewhere?
Music comes after the carnage;
in conflicts and disharmony,
We have the chance for tremendous growth.
But one must be brave.
They must not look away from the conflict at hand
and, instead, address it head on.
Only with being direct to the problem,
can any lasting resolution occur.
“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.” – Matthew 6:22
“For as he thinks within himself, so he is.” – Proverbs 23:7
Cathexis is a term used in psychoanalysis which is the act of placing energy into a person, object or idea. This is in reference to your mental and emotional energy, but can more easily be defined as your focus.
This verse from Matthew references how your eye is what will fill your body with health and light.
But what is this really saying?
Our eyes are how we view the world. We are primarily visual creatures; however, visual sight is not the only way we see. We have the gift of thought, imagination and mental creativity that all take place within the sight of the mind. These wild imaginings and thoughts about the future and past all take place, not in front of our physical eyes, but center stage in the theater of our minds.
So, now let us turn to the second verse and apply the idea of cathexis. We have the ability to place mental energy onto the world around us and we do so all the time. We are thinking about our loved ones; well, we are using this mental energy to focus on them. They are then becoming a part of us. We also can do this for objects. We might spend all our time thinking about some new car and using our cathexis on this car, so much so, that we become it.
And that is the main point: You become what you focus on. This may not seem like a novel concept, until I say that I mean it quite literally. Our thoughts and the energy we use to place a focus make up our lives. Of course, we usually spread this energy around into many different people, objects and ideas, but not always. Sometimes there is a central person, object or idea that we focus our lives around. And this can be dangerous, or it can be glorious.
For if we prize something so much that we let it consume us and all our mental and emotional energy becomes channeled into it, then we become whatever it is. Therefore, if it is some material manifestation of this earth, we become it and we become bound to this world. But, if we consume ourselves with the idea of love and that turns our focus to loving people and using objects to help people, then we have been consumed by something that is much more powerful than this earth and we are liberated.
For I am weary
And, alas, I seek.
I crave to know –
No, I crave to let go.
I desire to walk stride for stride.
Please, Dear Lord, guide me in this life.
For it is not fright I fear,
But the anxiety of the unknown.
Grant me peace and rest in my inferiority;
For patience is a virtue that eludes me.
But you are the one that concludes me.
Receive now and hold out your hand to this divine plan.
Oh, how grand is where I stand;
through the feet that bind my position.
Lift up my heart
and remove my resistance,
For in love we find everlasting persistence.
Do with me as you will;
empty what I think I know,
and guide me in the surrender of letting go.
Rejoice in the name and in the pleasure.
Deny thyself no more from the grandeur.
Allow thyself to play peacefully in the manger.
You are not without but filled with springs that overflow.
My vessel spills over from your grace.
What must I do to cope with such abundance?
What divine grace.
Should I surrender myself and seek thy face?
Or shall I quickly forget what you have given?
For I am nothing without you;
I am nothing without the gifts you store below.
Oh, glorious it is of your loving nature.
Your delight in giving is unrivalled.
But what you give is always right,
Even if it looks differently from my sight.
I have been suspect to the illusions.
I humble myself to your conclusions.
An endless deity.
A glistening sea.
I do declare,
This royal decree:
Where I search for my beloved has no words.
The path I travel has no roads.
I search and search but find no refuge.
Hope becomes a blinding force,
carrying me into the future on its outstretched wings.
Must I lose faith and look down,
I may fall and return to the ground
Yet, if I lay back and relax,
I’ll stare up at the moon with stars in the back.
Alas, as I come to a point of deprivation.
A point of dwindling down to man’s base state;
I do find:
A safe haven.
Days, weeks, months, they all disappear.
As the warmth of your presence reappears.
Washing over me,
I lose all fear.
My life is transformed before my eyes.
As I replace lens with those of heaven’s skies.
I know not where this journey leads,
but time has become a river veiled by reeds.
Motion becomes my sense of change.
Your wants and desires take my reigns.
I seek to love;
And not to claim.
Where we lay,
In this place is where I stay.
Through this love,
I learn to pray;
I am grateful for each day.
My heart it yearns,
My soul it aches.
I await the day,
When you reclaim this place.
Purify my perception,
For deception still lingers.
Eradicate my doubts,
So that my faith may be all.
Forgive the transgressions from the fall,
And guide me towards glory.
Allow my eyes to see
And my hears to ear.
For I feel the time is near.
Now, my heart it is longing
Take me where I’m standing.
Come into my heart,
and breathe new life.
Let your grace
and your presence
Come wash into my essence.
Making me free.
Take all of me.
By your blood
and your pain,
I exalt your name.
You’re all that remains.
You are high;
You are present;
You’re the resurrected.
I am weak;
And I’m strong,
only through your presence.
You lift me up.
You hold my trust.
Let me fly;
Let me soar;
Grant me wings that endure
All of this place.
While I seek your face.