Overcoming Doubt

For I am weary
And, alas, I seek.
I crave to know –
No, I crave to let go.
I desire to walk stride for stride.
Please, Dear Lord, guide me in this life.
For it is not fright I fear,
But the anxiety of the unknown.
Grant me peace and rest in my inferiority;
For patience is a virtue that eludes me.
But you are the one that concludes me.

A Poem of Paradise

An endless deity.
A glistening sea.
I do declare,
This royal decree:

Where I search for my beloved has no words.
The path I travel has no roads.
I search and search but find no refuge.
Hope becomes a blinding force,
carrying me into the future on its outstretched wings.
Must I lose faith and look down,
I may fall and return to the ground
Yet, if I lay back and relax,
I’ll stare up at the moon with stars in the back.

Alas, as I come to a point of deprivation.
A point of dwindling down to man’s base state;
I do find:
A joy;
A light;
A safe haven.

Days, weeks, months, they all disappear.
As the warmth of your presence reappears.
Washing over me,
I lose all fear.
My life is transformed before my eyes.
As I replace lens with those of heaven’s skies.
I know not where this journey leads,
but time has become a river veiled by reeds.
Motion becomes my sense of change.
Your wants and desires take my reigns.
I seek to love;
And not to claim.
Where we lay,
I remain.
In this place is where I stay.
Through this love,
I learn to pray;
I am grateful for each day.

Internal Polarity

I live in a fight between my rationality and my emotionality.

My rationality knows quite well that these next two months are quite necessary not only for the development of our relationship, but also for further discovery of our own selves.

I know this time is necessary so that we do not rush through the initial stages of a relationship.

And the paradox is that by not rushing everything becomes more meaningful: I savor every minute I spend with her and my feelings are being opened to a whole new level of perceptional experience. But nevertheless, I want to rush!

This is where my emotionality comes into play. Though it is all well and good that this thing called “time” and this virtue called “patience” are necessary to derive the pleasurable feeling I feel when I am with her; I nonetheless wish I could spend every moment with her, right now.

I know that isn’t the right answer, nor does it have a remote possibility of happening. But I cannot quell these feelings. They feel just as true as my rationality.

But in the end what I need is balance accompanied by patience. I do need to see her, and in time the duration of our time spent together will too expand. Yet, I also need to live this chapter in my life for the chapter that it is. For after all, this point in my life cannot be anything other than what it is.

The scene is set and the characters in motion. I relinquish control and simply play my part. The next scene will arrive when and where it is meant to, but, until then, it  is necessary to continue onward.

Do Not Praise

Upwards I climb.

Behind me an endless sea of masks compose the marsh of time.

Moving forward seems to be a process of remembering.

My mind faulters under the weight of contradiction.

I admit to my feeble understanding of this miraculous universe.

But, through my submission – life is gained.

On either side their lay vices;

but between the two,

lies virtue.

Silent Companions

Upwards we strive sweeping blunders aside.
Inside the rings of time,
Nothing but bands of lines.
A root sprouts latches that cling to the land.
Anchoring and lifting the plant until it finally stands.
Winds disrupt the surfaced plant from pursuing its noble endeavor
To ascend towards the sky, while leaves struggle to keep up with the pace.
Underneath the calloused surface exists a labyrinth of circuits; chutes of nutrients synthesizing the necessary building blocks for existence.
They grow fueled by an appetite for personal gain.
Under the loving care of the holy sun,
they discover a passion for life.

For more poems from my book ‘A Two Sided Truth’ click the link for a free Kindle copy:

A Two Sided Truth: An Anthology of A Human Experience

The Rose Warrior: Aurora Warriors

The goal of the warriors was to prevent consciousness from being hacked. This  was the new form of warfare. Instead of killing each other, Ferna found that he could hack into the minds of our people while he was in the Aurora plane.

He presented ideas that were not their own, but rather ideas he conjured up. He tampered with their memories and dreams so that he was sure he would produce something the individual could not resist, and instead sympathize with. These false memories were in direct alignment with Ferna’s ideology and his doctrine of how the universe was and should continue to be; he saw no middle ground. He operated on an ‘all or nothing ‘principle: they were either with him or against him.

Since he had made the first move on the Aurora plane, we have forever been playing defense, more so than offense. Our warriors could only enter the field by placing themselves in these artificial pods where they were strapped down. The restraints were for their safety…well, and the others tasked on monitoring their vital signs.

You see, once strapped into the pod, they were injected with the poisonous dose of Roodio to help them ascend to the Aurora plane. Of course, the initial step was the plunge where they pop from their physical body into their vaporized energy form. Once this transition occurs, their physical body is left in a delirious and half dreamlike state. For all practical purposes, this means anything goes. Some Aurora Warriors are quiet peaceful and are like Ferna who seem as if they are merely sleeping. While others, behave as if they are acting out a night-terror, which can be dangerous.

If their physical body is injured or tampered with, it can affect how they are able to perform on the Aurora plane. And what that means is they might fall prey to Ferna, who is the tempter for all those on the Aurora plane. He is the master of the plane and he knows it better than anyone. Moreover, his sole goal is to convert others into his puppets. Everyone is at risk of being converted because he can come at any time, but those who are most susceptible are the Warriors who are also on the plane with him. Think of them as being naked and exposed for all that they are. All their secrets of self and past histories are open to Ferna, and he can use them in the most clever of ways to trick them into believing in him.

Of course, to become a Warrior, there is a rigorous training process and only a select few are even considered for The Aurora Battle Academy.

The Rose Warrior: Battle Academy

Admission to The Aurora Battle Academy is the most prestigious honor one can receive. My mom was admitted into the Academy when she was 18. She was the youngest woman ever admitted.

The Academy really is not a school. Instead, it is more of ‘unschooling’; its purpose is to teach you the things you need to know to survive on the Aurora plane, but it just so happens that those things learned are unlearning things that seemed so fundamental. For example, you learn to unlearn everything you once thought was a constant, such as time, space and self.

Time is where it starts.  You first learn to realize just how much of an illusion time truly is. Time is nothing but a construct of the mind, and, moreover, its pattern isn’t even consistent. For instance, we have cyclical and linear time. The linear time is moving from the beginning (birth) to an end point (death). However, it is also cyclical. From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep is called a day. Days form weeks. Days and weeks form years; all of which repeat in cycles. But all while the linear time is moving in the background. Eventually, when enough years pass by, you go from birth to death.

Therefore, time is not one thing but both. Two things that seem to contradict: linear and cycles.

Next, is space. Space, too, is subjective and relative to time. In order to move from one place to another, you must invoke the notion of time.

Finally, you move on to the idea of self. This is the most important concept to eliminate because if you enter the Aurora plane with an intact concept of self, you are bound to be exploited.

Everything exists in time and space. The combination of which is seen through your unique perspective — this is all you are. The self is just a collection of memories that were experienced at specific moments in time. Not necessarily specific points in space. Think of this: you enter the same room you were born in; the space may be the same, but the difference of time makes them entirely different situations.

The self is a concept constantly being added to; and this constant addition creates something new each moment of each day. This is an important notion, because if you cling to static self, you will become mentally stagnant and that can’t happen in the Aurora plane.

It becomes and imperative to limit the idea of self to a handful of things, namely the core of who you are. This frees up what is known as free consciousness. This is the most ideal form to be in when in the Aurora plane. Free conscious is extremely malleable and pure. It is a lot like water, but imagine a liquid energy that can transform and manifest into anything. This ability to transform into anything is dictated by the person’s creative ability, therefore, creativity is a must for being accepted into the Battle Academy.

Eliminating self is crucial, because if you go into the battlefield with a lot of baggage. The enemy can use it against you. This is what is called self-interference because they are using what exists inside you as interference of your free consciousness and if you are frozen battling internal concepts you  cannot fight the enemy and that is the whole point of the Aurora field.

The Battle Academy candidates are selected by the Aurora Elders that go and study each person in the Aurora plane looking for certain characteristics that would make them a good Aurora Warrior. Speaking in terms of color they look for the violet ones or as they call it, “the one who possesses the flame of free consciousness.”

Free consciousness is an imperative to work on the Aurora plane. You must be able to use your mind in any way possible and be extremely flexible and malleable. First, the goal is to find and localize the enemies on the plane. This has to be detected through the power of intuition which, if highly trained, acts as a compass or radar. Truthfully, they are picking up on energy signals. Because everyone in the aurora plane is similar to that of a holographic physical body consisting only of vaporized energy. They can appear transparent when viewed from one angle and almost solid when viewed from another.

Imagine a coin. If it is laid flat on a table, and you are looking straight down on top of it, it may look simply like a circle. If you look from the side of the table at the edge of the coin it looks like a straight line. If the coin was rotating around on an imaginary axis though, you could see its true dimensions. This is another skill learned by the Aurora Warriors in the Battle Academy: see from all angles simultaneously. This is a hard notion to grasp and that is why there are so few warriors that can fight on the Aurora plane. The trick is to get rid of the ingrained notion that you can only be in one place at one time and allow your free consciousness to imagine. Imagination is also a pivotal characteristic. It allows the Warrior to imagine that they were viewing it from perspective A, B, and C at once. This makes sense if you think about it like this: does the person possess the capabilities to view it from A, B, or C given the usage of time? Yes.

They could rotate to any position, above the coin, to the side of the coin, or holding the coin and it would take time to do this. Now, forget the concept of time.

This is the concept taught on day one of Battle Academy. If you can’t grasp it you are out.



The Rose Warrior: Accidents & Warfare

After King Ferna discovered the Aurora plane through his crystal, he soon used it to control and manipulate our people. At first, we had no idea why all the sudden people were converting and fighting against their own side.

Now, this was when the war was still physical, but the Aurora plane had just been discovered, so their treason resulted in the converted individuals killing their own brothers and sisters.

It wasn’t until we, too, discovered the Aurora plane that we could fight back. Of course, this counterattack was on the Aurora plane not the physical one. So, it was with our discovery of the Aurora plane that ended the war in the physical war entirely.

We discovered it…well…by accident — and a stupid one at that. We have a plant called Cawaa, it’s a rare delicacy, but it also looks extremely similar to another plant called Roodio, which is very toxic. Most people get very ill if ingested Roodio and most people only ingest it by accidentally mistaking it for Cawaa. Some have become so sick they have even died!

But there was one person who mixed the two plants up and had an eye opening experience. He was hallucinating and delirious, but maintained enough control over his consciousness to be able to see in the Aurora plane, which had always existed but was never seen from the physical plane (with the exception of Ferna and the crystal allowing him sight).

He lived to tell his tale. The next day after the experience he regained his normal faculties and told the other Natives about his experience and also that he had seen the source of darkness which we assumed Tao. He said it was a force with an immense power for persuasion and had been hacking our people’s consciousnesses to do his bidding.

The Rose Warrior: The Aurora Plane

He felt himself fly from his body, which was accompanied by a loud popping sound. This is what is known as the plunge. He looked back and saw his body still there on his bed. It felt as if he was gazing upon a longtime friend.

He then realized his current self was something like a hologram. It had the basic outline of his body, but was almost entirely transparent and malleable ( He didn’t know it at the time, but later we discovered the substance of the body was vaporized liquid energy). Imagine the nervous system and the light circulating through that system in the form of electricity. This is similar to the form he took and the form he could see in others.

Except, there were no constraints to where he could go, so he began to wander. Soon, he discovered great the circulating beams of light I previously mentioned. They were like bright rivers of energy circulating under the human body.

At first, he thought them to just be light, but quickly realized he was seeing the behind the scenes of a person. He flew closer and realized they were being emitted off of real life people. He could see them through to the inside and also their fully formed exterior. He saw their skin and the brilliant light of the energy that surged through their body as electricity. He continued to move around and discovered the most concentrated currents of energy from those from people on the battlefield. Closely examining the circulating rivers of light energy, he stumbled upon something intriguing: the currents of energy all circulated to the brain where there was aura shrouding their head, similar to that of a halo, but more of a gaseous cloud full of vibrant colors.

On close examination, he discovered this was the aura of thought and each flash of color was some different concept racing in their head. The most significant discovery was from the thought aura. He noticed there was a division; there was a plane that was perfectly horizontal dividing the cloud into two distinct areas (the conscious and unconscious). Each area portrayed colors in a different manner than the other. For example, the top half was constantly firing off colors and fluctuating from thought to thought, but the bottom layer remained much more stagnant. It would usually hold a single color, representing a single thought or emotion, and then gradually shift to another. However, sometimes there were two or even three colors represented in this lower half, but they never acted erratically, they slowly faded in and slowly faded out of existence. At first, he was baffled about this duality and the overall nature of the colors and more generally, the aurora plane as a whole, but his unwavering faith had paid off and he had unlocked the secret behind the violet crystal. And through it, he had discovered an unseen world that is happening behind the scenes of the everyday world. He was ecstatic and only wanted to learn more but before he could do so, he went to go check on his physical self, which was still lying in bed.

He noticed his physical body looked as if it would soon wake up, but he did not know how to go back into his physical self. Finally, he thought back on how he came to be in his current state and realized if the stone had the power to pluck him from his body, then it must have the power to embody him once more. But, alas, the stone was still being clasped by his physical self. He didn’t know what to do, but he did the only thing he could think to do…think. He thought of the stone. He focused on the stone and the stone began to resonant with this energy that he was transmitting. Eventually, the energy from his intentionality was enough to capture himself  back into his physical self and he woke up with his mouth agape, mystified from what he had experienced.